One thing that sometimes surprises people is that underneath all my constant laughter and jesting, I am actually a bit of an emotional person. I experience my emotions very strongly, which means sometimes certain feelings or thoughts will linger for quite a while before fading away. The result of that is that sometimes feelings like pride, anger, or yearning hold me captive more tightly than I’d like.
The other day, I was joking to my friend that if she were an Inside Out character, she’d be Joy. Her response was “you’d be Anger.” How unfortunately correct.
The irony in all of this is that, despite how much I despise being angry, as it makes me feel absolutely miserable, often I just feel helpless in the face of my weakness. It is as Paul states: “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15). How helpless am I that I fall prey to my inner sentiments!
And it is not just anger I am prone to, but pride. For those who have known me, my skirmish with pride has been long-standing. How many times have I been knocked from my pedestal only to realize that I’ve built yet another one, only a few millimetres lessened? How many times have I yearned for a result, gotten what I wanted, found the result undesirable, and simply shifted the fixation of my desires onto something else, yet was still left wanting? I’ve grumbled and made so many complaints that it wouldn’t be worth the time tallying them all.
And yet, despite my repeated shortcomings, God remains repeatedly gracious.
Recently, I’ve been listening to a podcast by Tim Mackie on the Book of Jonah, and in my listening, two things have been made abundantly clear: the weight of my sin and the absolute graciousness of God. So, as I explore the book of Jonah today, I will do so through the lens of my own recent shortcomings and reflections. That I am not just a “victim” of my emotions, but at times, an active conspirator and accomplice of the sin it brings.
When we look at the character Jonah, there is simply no way around it: he is not a good guy. He is selfish, arrogant, blunt, angry, and has no concern for what God wants to do with him. It’s not until he’s thrown off a boat and stranded in the belly of a giant fish that he repents for his misdeeds. He is an awful person and a lousy prophet. He lets his emotions and his feelings do the talking, and the irony is that the person who suffers the greatest from his sin is himself. Sound familiar to another person you were just reading about?
A great travesty would be to read the Book of Jonah and think that it has nothing to do with us. It is the story of a selfish, rebellious, and insufferable person who claims to follow God. It has everything to do with us. It has everything to do with me.
As I reflect on my own shortcomings in light of Jonah’s failures, I pray that by God’s grace, you, dear reader, would also see the places in your life where you frequently fall short.
PRIDE
Pride is the excessive belief in one’s own accomplishments or worthiness, and oh boy is Jonah full of it.
1 Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, 2 “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.” 3 But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord.
Jonah 1:1-3
How many people, when confronted by their boss, parent, or authority figure, to perform a task for them, would just say “no” without explanation? Not only does Jonah do that to God here (who is all three of those), he tops it off by taking a boat in the opposite direction of where God commands him to go.
It’s the equivalent of your parent telling you to go home, intentionally keeping your location on, and actively going in the other direction. It’s absolutely ludicrous and gives us deep insight into Jonah’s character. And we’re only on verse 3!
How absolutely enormous must Jonah’s ego be that he ought to think that he can not only reject God’s command but also actively disobey in the face of God? Who does this guy think he is?
As we keep reading, there is an irony in that while Jonah, the prophet of God, is blatantly unrepentant, every man and beast, from the Gentile king to the very cows of the field, are ready to turn from their evil.
6 The word reached the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, removed his robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. 7 And he issued a proclamation and published through Nineveh, “By the decree of the king and his nobles: Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste anything. Let them not feed or drink water, 8 but let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and let them call out mightily to God. Let everyone turn from his evil way and from the violence that is in his hands. 9 Who knows? God may turn and relent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we may not perish.”
Jonah 3:6-9
As that develops, Jonah’s massive ego, in the form of his condescending attitude towards the people of Ninveh, is revealed:
10 When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it. 4 But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. 2 And he prayed to the Lord and said, “O Lord, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster.
Jonah 3:10-4:2
Jonah is angry that God spares the people. Not only does he believe he knows better than God, but his adamancy for the Ninevites to be struck down reveals his perceived sense of moral superiority and self-righteousness. These people deserve to be struck down.
For those unfamiliar with the story, the Lord then appoints a plant to be grown and to give Jonah shade. Jonah is temporarily pleased by this until God sends a worm to destroy the plant the following morning. Jonah, once again, is furious. God responds to Jonah:
10 And the Lord said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”
Jonah 4:10-11
God’s message to Jonah is quite clear: despite what Jonah believes about his own righteousness, he is not so blameless, innocent, or justified as he ought to think. Jonah, the same guy who refused to listen to God’s initial command to go to Nineveh, is surprisingly not a good person. He is relentlessly arrogant, and his ego is through the roof. He’s ready to obliterate a city of 120,000 people, yet shows great concern for a plant that gave him shade for a couple of hours at best. Again, who does this guy think he is?
And then directing the question back to myself: who do I think I am?
Who do I think I am that I am so quick to reject the commands of God, think highly of myself, and believe that I am worthy of praise?
One thing that God has been reminding me lately is that I really am not as incredible as I ought to think. God has been gracious to me, yes, but in that there is no reason for me to boast. For every success that I hold, I contribute nothing to the ministry that God has given me but my weaknesses. For every person I’ve looked down upon, thought less of, or even regarded condescendingly, what separates them from me? Do we not share similar sufferings? Hardships? Desires? Have I not just been fortunate to be given the circumstances that I have? Do I not yearn for the things they do? To be seen, acknowledged, and regarded? Certainly, I do. And certainly, my good fortunes give me no right to put myself above another.
I find that the more deeply we spend getting to know the Lord’s people, the less room there is for pride.
There is one dear sister whom I serve alongside whom I have high regard for. She is not flashy in her service, not fiery in her speech, nor has she received as much practical support as I have in the growing of her faith. And yet, she serves with such humility and faithfulness that I could only wish to emulate her. For all my study of scripture and for all the gifts that God graciously bestowed upon me, I am still as sinful and arrogant as I am. What good is it that the Lord bestows me five talents, yet I struggle to reproduce three more? Yet, by the grace of God, this sister has received three talents and made five out of them. Perhaps she is more righteous than I.
Gracious God, thank you for the incredible people you’ve put to serve alongside me. Please grant me a humble and gentle heart that would serve your kingdom and people well. Amen.
ANGER
If there is one word to describe Jonah in chapter 4. It’s angry.
He’s angry about God being gracious; he’s angry that God made him come all the way here; he’s angry about the plant; and he’s angry enough to die!
9 But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.”
Jonah 4:9
And the tragedy is, I know exactly how Jonah feels. And I’m sure most of you do as well. How can we respond with anything but anger when we see the injustices of the world before us and the injustices we have to face?
Injustices like… when someone cuts us off in traffic! Or…when someone cuts us in line! Or…when the washing machine doesn’t um…Are these really injustices?
Maybe not grand ones. But who here is going to pretend they have never gotten irrationally angry at someone who has done them a minor injustice? I certainly am not. And that is assuredly the problem with our anger at times—not that injustice has not been committed, but that the severity with which revenge is desired is not always proportionate. We always believe that our anger is justified, even when it is not.
And that is Jonah’s problem as well.
Because of his inability to lay aside his pride and realize that he is not so much different from those whom he wishes God would destroy, he believes that his anger is justified. This happens not only for the destruction of the people, but also for the destruction of the plant.
This same justification is often the reason we hold onto our anger and refuse to forgive.
Recently, I had an argument with my mom. I needed something, was having trouble finding it, and was really upset over it. My mom had moved it a few days ago without telling me, and now, since I was in a rush, I got really frustrated, really quickly. We ended up getting into an argument, which escalated the situation, and I headed out that evening without it being resolved. I was livid. But it was fine, right? Because I was justified in my anger.
The irony of it all is that evening, our youth group hosted a program, inviting and urging the parents to be involved in their children’s faith. How hypocritical of me. That I was willing to plead for others’ families to be intentional with one another, yet struggle to reconcile with mine. Some lousy prophet I am.
And therein lies the problem when we base our anger on whether or not we feel justified in doing so. Justification gives us an excuse to be angry and stay angry. But justification does not necessarily allow for reconciliation. Justification does not always result in a proportionate amount of justice. Justification does not allow me to see that my mom, in her moving of what I was looking for, did not intend it to be an injustice at all.
Being justified gives us reason to be angry. But being justified does not always lead to what is best for us. How many times do we lash out in anger, knowing it will only escalate the problem? Or how often do we hold onto grudges, only harming ourselves in the process? Holding anger in our hearts is as if we drink poison, yet expect others to die.
It is as the Lord speaks to Jonah in the story, “Do you do well to be angry?” The irony of it all is that no, he does not. Jonah has nothing to gain from his anger. Truly, he is the only one suffering from the poison he drinks. Yet, he remains angry. Yet, he remains miserable. Being right does not guarantee what we think it does.
Gracious Father, please grant me a heart of peace that would desire reconciliation and peace over justified anger. I am so often complicit with the frustrations of my soul and fall prey to wanting to get back at those who have wronged me. Help me not drink the poison of being justified. Amen.
YEARNING
Yearning is the feeling when people tell you that there are other fish in the sea, but your fish got taken, and now you don’t even want to fish anymore.
Yearning is the feeling that you could have a garden of a hundred different kinds of flowers, but still find it lacking because your favourite kind isn’t there.
It is the intense feeling we get when we desire or long for something which we cannot have. We yearn for what we do not have, and while it is not necessarily bad, if we do so too strongly without contentment, there is great room for sin. It is all too easy to become fixated, or tunnel-visioned, when we obsess too deeply over what we want without considering that it may not be what is best for us.
Take the case of Jonah, for example. At his core, his pride and anger drive him into a deep desire for justice. He yearns for the judgment on the Ninevites and utterly wishes for their destruction. He wants to see God enact punishment. Jonah simply cannot consider another way.
But the lie the enemy often deceives us with is that the fulfillment of our desires is what will bring us peace. How rarely so is that the case! How often is it the case that God fulfills the desires of our hearts, yet we simply redirect our grumbling elsewhere!
The people of Israel asked for freedom from slavery, and it was granted. Then they complained about the lack of water. This, too, was granted, only for them to complain about a lack of food! This, too, was granted, only for them to complain about a lack of meat! And so God gave them over to the desires of the heart. But not without punishing them for their excessive complaint (Numbers 11).
And so when I read the story of Jonah, I am not so convinced that if Jonah really did receive the Judgment on Ninevah that he so desired, his yearning would be quenched. I am so certain that Jonah, in his desire for justice, would only want more blood.
I find that I am not so different from Jonah nor the Israelites in this respect. I often find myself nitpicking, complaining, and grumbling over a vast number of things. Yet, I could not even tell you how many of these concerns were ever addressed, as I always end up finding more criticisms. True contentment will never be found in receiving what we yearn for.
I am certain that even if I had all that I wished, I would still find more to be discontented with.
Heavenly Father, please grant me a heart of contentment, that I would not yearn over what I cannot have but find joy in what you have given. Amen.
THE CROSS
For Jonah, the end of chapter 4 is the last we hear of him. While God confronts Jonah’s pride, anger, and yearning for justice, we, the readers, never find out what happens.
10 And the Lord said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”
Jonah 4:10-11
And while this is the end of Jonah’s story, it certainly is only the beginning of ours. Jonah’s story points to a greater story: the cross.
Jesus’ story is one of a Jonah who obeys:
- Jonah flees from the call of God (Jonah 1:3); Jesus embraces it (Matthew 4:13-17)
- Jonah causes the storm of God (Jonah 1:4) ; Jesus calms it (Mark 4:35-41)
- Jonah is thrown into the sea by the hands of innocent men to save them (Jonah 1:15-16); Jesus, an innocent man, is thrown into death by the hands of sinful men to save them (Luke 24:7)
- Jonah is in the whale for 3 days & nights, only to be rescued by God (John 1:17); Jesus was dead for 3 days & nights, to be the rescue from God (Matthew 12:40)
- Jonah preaches a message of repentance to the people of Nineveh (Jonah 3:4-5); Jesus is the message of repentance for a Gentile people (Acts 11:18)
- Jonah does not understand the compassion of God and is angry (Jonah 4:1-3); Jesus is the compassion of God that we find forgiveness in (John 3:16)
Jesus did what Jonah failed to do: love His enemies. Love us.
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
For that reason, Christ has given us reason to redirect our pride, anger, and yearning. He does not necessarily remove our emotions, but He teaches us what to do with them.
Rather than looking down on others, Jesus teaches us to serve and humble ourselves (Philippians 2:5-11), knowing we have our own shortcomings.
Rather than harbouring anger, Jesus teaches us to forgive as we have been forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15), leaving justice to him.
Rather than living discontentedly, Jesus teaches us that our satisfaction is in Him (John 14:6), that we should desire His way rather than our way.
I still feel emotions very strongly. And I will probably continue to do so. For all my reflecting and knowledge of scripture, I will inevitably fall short. Again. And again. And again. Yet despite my repeated shortcomings, I serve a God who is repeatedly gracious. And how grateful I am for such a thing! I pray for the strength to rule over how I feel, so that I will not fall into sin. I pray that my emotions would actually reveal my sin, that in my pride and anger and yearning, I would see the shortcomings in my heart.
Jonah is such a paradoxical character—he’s a supposed prophet of God, yet he’s arrogant, blunt, angry, and a lousy prophet to boot. He’s a selfish, rebellious, and insufferable person who claims to follow God. A hypocrite in many respects. Yet, I’m not too different from him. For every sin that Jonah commits, I could come up with a hundred scenarios of me doing something similar.
While there is much sin to grieve, there is even more grace to rejoice over. Thanks be to God for the gift of His son Jesus Christ.
Stay cool,
Jason