Have you ever complained to someone without a desire to even receive counsel or to solve the problem? You just want to get it off your chest and vent. You just want someone to affirm to you that your life is so hard. You want to be pitied, to be validated, to prove to yourself that whatever poor attitude you’ve conjured up at this point is ‘justified.’
I have.
And it’s a very dangerous path to walk down. It stems from a place of insecurity, hopelessness, and is an attempt to relieve yourself from responsibility.
Most of all, I’d argue that such an attitude ultimately fails to glorify God. The complaining for the sake of it encapsulates fully what Paul warns against in Philippians 2:14, the insecurity demonstrates a failure to acknowledge our identity in Him, the hopelessness exhibits our lack of faith in His power, and the attempt to relieve ourselves from responsibility puts on display an unrepentant heart.
1. The dangers of complaint
The first thing I wanted to examine was Paul’s teaching in Philippians 2:14-15.
Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world
Philippians 2:14-15
Here, Paul tells the Philippians to “do all things without grumbling or disputing.” Rather, he tells them to be “blameless and innocent” in the “midst of a crooked and twisted generation,” being “lights in the world.”
The command to not grumble is clear—and so is his reasoning behind it. It is a callback to the ‘grumbling’ that was occurring with Israel back in Exodus. A callback to the ‘crooked and twisted generation’ that turned their backs on God and were rewarded with an inability to enter the land that was promised.
And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness
Exodus 16:2
They have dealt corruptly with him;
Deuteronomy 32:5
they are no longer his children because they are blemished;
they are a crooked and twisted generation.
Ultimately, it is a callback to the unbelief that resided in their hearts. And a cautioning for the unbelief that resides in our hearts as well.
As it is said, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”
Hebrews 3:15
When we grumble, we fail to acknowledge the blessings that God has given us—how much worse is it, then, when we grumble with a desire for others to validate our perceived misery? Not only have we failed to be grateful for the gifts we’ve been given, but we long for others to share that same outlook. We have, contrary to Paul’s hopes in verse 15, become but a dimmed light, hidden under a basket.
2. Our insecurities Speak
The second thing I wanted to emphasize in having such an attitude is that it reeks of our insecurities. It demonstrates a failure to acknowledge our identity in him and shows what we truly desire—the acceptance, the validation, the approval from others.
When we desire for others to feel sorry for us, we do so because we believe their acknowledgement of us is proof that we are valuable. We matter because others care. However, this goes against why God says people are valuable. People are valuable not because others get to decide whether or not it’s true, people are valuable because they are made in the image of God. You are valuable because of your God-given ability to think, to rationalize, to have free will, and make your own decisions.
So God created man in his own image,
Genesis 1:27
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
And as Christians specifically, our insecurities should have no hold over us. Because our identity does not rest in the hands of others but rather in the hands of God. Our worth is not determined by what others think of us but by how God thinks of us.
And God thinks of us as His children whom he loves, so much so that he gave His son for us so that we could be saved.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16
3. Hopeful in a hopeless world
Next off, an attitude of ‘being pitied’ is synonymous with an attitude of hopelessness. And this hopelessness exhibits a lack of faith in God’s power. If God is unwilling or unable to change the circumstances of our suffering, then our attitude of hopelessness is justified, right? Wrong.
Let’s take a look at this passage from Paul’s letter to the Romans:
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5
In this passage, Paul actually says that suffering should not lead to hopelessness but hopefulness. It is by recognizing God’s power through suffering that we can understand more fully the work that Jesus did on the cross. Power is not ruling and controlling but servanthood and sacrifice.
When we have an attitude of hopelessness and are unable to see God’s glory in suffering because of our focus on ourselves and our desires to complain, we fail to see the bigger picture that God has in mind.
4. A repentant heart
Lastly, I want to illustrate how this attempt to relieve ourselves from responsibility may be an indication of an unrepentant heart.
First and foremost, someone who wants to complain for the sake of being pitied does not want change. How would it even come by? Everything is so far out of their control and they’re simply a victim of the poor circumstances they’ve been put in. Such an attitude can be a ‘comfort’ in some ways as it absolves the person from any accountability. However, somebody has to take the blame and in this scenario it becomes God.
Rather than accepting that part of the circumstances we’re in are a result of our own actions, we redirect the fault. How can we, with such an attitude, ever have a repentant heart? If repentance is recognizing our own faults and inability and taking action against our sin, how can we do so if we can’t even recognize we have a part to play in it?
The only way this can be done is if we allow ourselves to be humbled, take responsibility for our failures, and ask earnestly for God’s forgiveness.
If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14
Stay cool,
Jason
Jason Reads the Bible 